.she is.
Though she is a material girl, she is also a plain jane. She may be a party animal. But all she wants, is to be loved and cared.
.past.
Though she is a material girl, she is also a plain jane. She may be a party animal. But all she wants, is to be loved and cared.
.shout.
Tuesday, 1 January 2008 9:00 am
Clubbing night turn out to be a little dissappointing, and hurtful. But at least I figured out something.
Something happened that made him a little upset and don't feel good. Seeing his reaction, I was upset, and it spoilt my night. I was quite pissed at myself as well, I don't know. I just needed to dance the night away, flirt with other men, just to spite him.
I hooked up a guy, but where was he? Doing all these to spite him, in the end, he is not there to see. I was all cuddled up by the guy, even kissed. The only thing I didn't do, is to leave with him. I would probably had, if my another friend hadn't pulled me away. It feels good that someone is giving you the attention you need. I was too upset to care about whatever will happen. But what was I thinking at the same time? I could only wished it was him instead of the actual guy.
Actually, I kind of regretted my behaviour that night. Going to such extent just to spite someone who didn't see it, that's not worth it.
I didn't even get a final ride from him before I leave. I think my biggest dissappointment is not being able to tell him how I felt. But even given the chance, I doubt I would have the courage to. I believed at one point in time, we had something for each other. But some how, he backed out.
I told myself to let go after that night, but I still ended up relying on him. Even just before I board the plane, in a moment of weakness, while crying and losing myself, I text him.
Learning to let go, the most important lesson I learnt. Maybe it is a good thing. I am going away for months, and I don't want to have/be a burden. When I go back, everything will be back to square one. It is probably better that way.
Something happened that made him a little upset and don't feel good. Seeing his reaction, I was upset, and it spoilt my night. I was quite pissed at myself as well, I don't know. I just needed to dance the night away, flirt with other men, just to spite him.
I hooked up a guy, but where was he? Doing all these to spite him, in the end, he is not there to see. I was all cuddled up by the guy, even kissed. The only thing I didn't do, is to leave with him. I would probably had, if my another friend hadn't pulled me away. It feels good that someone is giving you the attention you need. I was too upset to care about whatever will happen. But what was I thinking at the same time? I could only wished it was him instead of the actual guy.
Actually, I kind of regretted my behaviour that night. Going to such extent just to spite someone who didn't see it, that's not worth it.
I didn't even get a final ride from him before I leave. I think my biggest dissappointment is not being able to tell him how I felt. But even given the chance, I doubt I would have the courage to. I believed at one point in time, we had something for each other. But some how, he backed out.
I told myself to let go after that night, but I still ended up relying on him. Even just before I board the plane, in a moment of weakness, while crying and losing myself, I text him.
Learning to let go, the most important lesson I learnt. Maybe it is a good thing. I am going away for months, and I don't want to have/be a burden. When I go back, everything will be back to square one. It is probably better that way.