I knew I shouldn't have went to sentosa today, at least not when he is around. I am so angry with myself for being such a bitch. I hate myself; for hurting another person with my emotions. I ignored him, avoided him, didn't wanted to be with him for the whole day.
He asked me what happen to me, I refuse to tell him the truth, cause I know the truth will only hurt the both of us - especially him.
The truth: I seriously think we shouldn't have started the relationship. We are not compatible; he can't give me what I want (whoever is reading my blog, u would say I am nuts, what more do I want? ). Not that he didn't give me enough, but he didn't give me the right thing.
Today we (my sisters and I) sat by the beach. They took turns to ask about each other, how they are doing with their bfs, but no one asked me. They assumed that I am happy with my relationship. But am I really happy?
You said it hurts to see me like that, but do you know it hurts me more to treat u that way and can't help but think we shouldn't have started at all? I blame myself for all this, I am the cause to this situation now.
Just now he called, but I didn't know whether to answer it or not. In the end I let it ring until it stop. After saying all these, I realise such a bitch I am.
I am so sorry that I treated you that way today. You made me cry tonight...